How Covid-19 Changed my 2020

This picture was taken exactly five weeks ago after I had given a guest lecture about my music at Malmö Academy of Music, a week during which I was working as a jury member for the new composition student admissions for my former university. How much life has changed since then!

Four weeks ago on Monday the 9th of March I flew home from Malmö, departing from Copenhagen airport. I was one of the only ones using a face mask at the airport, and happily unknowing my timing was quite perfect, travelling about 5 days before Denmark made a one month travel ban.

Since then all my concerts and events have been cancelled or postponed. I was looking forward to giving a speak about political music at Tampere Biennale's composer seminar, to hear my string quartet Via Crucis be performed at Heta Music Days in Lappland, to hear the wonderful conductor Christian Reif perform my piece Lucrum with W and last but not least: making my Australian debut with my piece Tundo! played by the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra conducted by Håkan Hardenberger. In total 14 concerts with my music cancelled (so far). 

More over I started to have slight flu-like symptoms fours days after my travel and went into voluntary quarantine on Friday the 13th of March. The first 8 days I had not much fever (about 37.8°C), hardly any cough, just a little sore throat, some muscle pain, nausea and headaches and a lot of tiredness all the time. On day 9 my breathing difficulties started, which over time have become less but still not seized (now day 26 in total). I was twice checked up but as I'm not in the risk group, I wasn't tested for COVID-19. 

But despite this all above I feel I have been very lucky and am at good spirit. I'm in a privileged position considering work, as nothing has changed so far - working from home as usual. As soon as I'm able again, I will be working on a new piece for violin and piano for the one and only Pekka Kuusisto and Tarmo Peltokoski, can't wait!

My warmest thoughts are with all my friends in the different cultural fields as well as in other fields (for instance restaurants) who lost several month of work due to the pandemic. My thoughts are also with all the brave and hard working doctors and nurses out at the front line under enormous pressure and and endangering their own lives. And my sincere condolences to all who have lost loved ones to COVID-19.

Just wanted to give an update whats been going in my life and that I'm okay! Sending you all lots of love and hope! Take care!😘

Tundo!

Tomorrow it's time for the world premiere of my piece "Tundo!" in Stockholm with Gävle symphony orchestra conducted by Andreas Hanson! I would like to share what I have written about my new 10 min orchestra piece with you here:

"Time is ticking while over 65 million refugees are knocking at the door of Europe in seek of help and hope for a better life. Refugees who have lost everything, who have walked miles, who have paid everything they own for saving their own and their families’ lives. The European Union has had a hard time choosing sides. And while it is tightening the regulations for refugees, the pressured knocking at our door is growing ever stronger. A both economic and humanitarian catastrophe is starting to show its full extent.

Tundo is the latin word for “Knock” and is my description of the catastrophe of our time. I have tried to put in to music the knocking, the wars, the beautiful landscapes refugees have walked by, the rain that has poured over them, the sea and the dangerous boat ride, the screams for help, the arguing among the European Union’s elite bureaucrats, the shouts of “don’t let them in”, the grief and pain due to loss of loved ones, the sympathy we Westerners have but which only lasts as long as the refugees don't affect our own lives in any way. All of this exists at the same time simultaneously, all of this is a part of our time, all of this will be part of our history and a burden on our conscience.

Events like one of the world’s greatest nations choosing a racist, misogynistic man for president, have shattered me and put all my idealism into question. I’m not a politician, I’m not rich nor influential, but through my music I at least try to do my part for making the world a little better place to live in. By touching other people’s hearts and telling the story of those who don’t have a voice of their own in society - the refugees. "

Photo by Marthe Veian Andreassen

Short update about me

Sunday October 23rd 2016.

Short update about me: I decided to take an other gap year from my master studies (in composition) at Malmö Academy of Music. I'm living in Helsinki and working as a freelance composer. At the moment I have five commissions: three choral pieces, one opera for children and one accordion concerto. I'm also studying my last year piano pedagogy of my second bachelor at Tampere University of Applied Sciences. Moreover I have started a new "hobby": musicology at Helsinki University. (And bought a gym card to Unisport as well, after an 8 years break of no sports! So proud of myself!) I'm also planning a super cool contemporary music festival for August 2017 with my friends from Tampering! 

My parents are now starting their "putkiremontti" (plumbing service) and are emptying their flat (with loads of my stuff in it). And soon (in November) I’ll also get a “putkiremontti” as well. Then (in January) I will move to a new flat (within Helsinki) and in September 2017 I will move back to Malmö to complete my masters in composition!

So if my friends don't see me during the next year or two I am either composing, practising piano, travelling by train to Tampere, sitting in a lecture of musicology, writing an essay, preparing for some exam, writing a grant application, doing yoga, or cleaning up some flat. 

So please don't be offended if I'm super terrible at answering messages and emails or just generally am a lousy friend, I'm sorry already!

Hope to see all my friends at my graduation, either in 2017 (piano, Tampere/Helsinki) or in 2018 (Master of Music, Malmö)! Until then, take care! 

Yours sincerely,

Cecilia xx

P.S. Also have some sunny days in sight: In December I’m going to Spain, as my new suite for accordion solo commissioned by Janne Valkeajoki will be premiered on his tour in northern Spain, which is super exciting!

Autumn 2015

January 5th 2016. After a hectic spring and summer 2016 I have tried to do some downshifting and this laid back autumn has been exactly what I needed! 

So what have I been up to? I decided to take a gap-year from Malmö Academy of Music, because I couldn’t cope anymore with studying two degrees in two countries (a bachelor of piano in Finland and Masters in composition in Sweden). So this autumn I have pursued  my piano pedagogue degree in Tampere University of Applied Sciences while living in Helsinki at my parents place (for saving on living costs) and working on my freelance composition work. This autumn I have been working on my orchestra piece Unborn (2012-2015) that will be premiered by Jyväskylä Sinfonia on the 13th of January 2016 and also composing a melodrama commissioned by John Storgårds for the festival Sång och musikfesten 2016 to be premiered on the 11th of June 2016 in Kokkola. 

In the beginning of the autumn I also produced one concert for the festival Ung Nordisk Musik together with my friend and composer Dante Thelestam. And in November I was 12 days in Malmö for taking part of and helping to organise the contemporary music festival “Connect 2015 - The Apocalypse” organised by the composition department of Malmö Academy of Music. So I have been more or less in one place the whole autumn, which has been a really nice and welcome change. More over I have begun to sleep about 8h per night, which has correlated with feeling better and being a bit less ill, but also is a part reason to less blog posts.

Hoping to write more about all the events in separate blog posts, so once again being positive (or maybe just unrealistic?) about being back soon with my next post!

Summer 2015

”So what are you doing this summer?” I get this question quite frequently, so I decided to write about what’s happening this summer in my life!

May
2-9.5 visiting Würzburg
Visited my friend Janne Valkeajoki in Würzburg for discussing and working on his commissioned piece Groove, which will be premiered in Sysmän Suvisoitto 2015.

10.5 Concert in Lund with Ton Generation. Composition class of Malmö made a concert, and I gave my piano solo piece Piano Delirium it’s Swedish premiere. (More about the concert: click here)

20.5 Concert in Malmö Academy of Music, and the pianist Linn Bertland gave my piano solo suite Characters its world premiere.

21.5-26.5 in Finland:

21.5 arrived at 14:45 in Finland, got picked up so I managed to go home and in the evening I went to the Finish Cultural Foundation Annual Celebration in Siuntio

22.5 piano lesson in Helsinki with Risto-Matti Marin

25.5 Played the Finnish premiere of my piano piece  "Characters" at 6 PM. in the Korvat Auki concert at the Aino Ackté Hall

26.5 Flight to Stockholm at 16 o'clock.

26-30.5 Stockholm

27-28.5 Rehearsals with the Swedish Wind Ensemble

29.5 Concert with Swedish Wind Ensemble, premiere of my wind orchestra piece Paradiso, conducted by Michael Bartosch. (More about the concert: click here)

30.5 Travelling by train back to Malmö

June

31.5-17.6 in Malmö

4.6 Playing the second movement of Hummel’s Piano concerto and my piece Characters at the Horn class concert in Malmö Academy of Music
5.6 The Spring Party of Malmö Academy of Music
7.6 To hospital due to acute infection, I however felt fine after I got antibiotics
8.6 deadline for first songs of the opera “Schnitzler’s Dreams” (composing all night and morning)

9-12.6 Cleaning out the flat and moving most of my stuff (to a friend’s attick) although I took six bags with me.

12.6. Moving out
12-15.6 composing Sirens for brass ensemble, premiere at Blekinge International Brass Academy

17.6 By train to Stockholm, and by ferry back to Finland, with 6 bags and a total of 91 kg!

17-21.6 in Helsinki

Composing night and day my part of the collaborative opera Schnitzler’s Dreams for Fredrikstad, Norway.

21.6 flight to Copenhagen, stayed the night at a friend in Malmö
22-28.6 Karlskrona, BlekingeInternational Brass Academy

Composer in residence the whole week, rehearsals 24-26.6

26.6 Premiere of my new piece Sirens for brass ensemble

28-30.6 Staying at my friends place in Malmö while composing the opera
29.6 meeting with composer JonatanSersam and Martin Dahlin-Volsing and planning the contemporary music festival Conncet 2015 taking place 13-22.11.2015 in Malmö.
30.6 Flight back to Helsinki

July
30.6-23.7 Finland
Composing opera, deadline 3.7

2.7-8.7 Sysmän Suvisoitto
3.7 Sent off 70% of my part of the opera, the other 30% must still wait…

4.7 Premiere of my flute & accordion piece by Janne Valkeajoki and Jacintha Damström

8-13.7 composing my string orchestra piece (premiere 22.8) at my parents summer house.
13-20.7   I will then compose the last 30% (15min) of my part for the opera Schnitzler’sDreams
 

23.7 Flight to Stuttgart, Germany
24.7-7.8 International SummerAcademy of Music, Ochsenhausen
24-31.7 composing a piano trio

August
1-7.8 composing a commissioned melodrama (composition to be continued later) at Ochsenhausen

8-13.8 small vacation in Germany
14.8 travelling to Fredriksstad, Norway

14-21.8 Fredrikstad, Norway

Rehearsals for the installation opera Schnitzler’s Dreams
17.8-19.8 quick stop in Helsinki for a conference 18.8 for a theatre project I am involved in, back to Norway on the morning of 19.8.

20.8 premiere of the installation opera Schnitzler’s Dreams in Fredrikstad. (More performances 21-23.8, but no time to stay…)

21.8 Flight to Finland

21.8 more or less permanently in Finland

21-23.8 in Tampere at the TampeRinging festival, many premieres of my pieces, please feel welcome to listen!
20.8 at 21 o’clock Groove at the restaurant bar Telakka, Tampere
21.8 at 19 o’clock The Dorfman Trio at Ylioppilas teatteri, Tampere
22.8 at 12 o’clock Expressionen at Pietiläsali, Metso Library, Tampere
             19 o’clock the premiere of my string orchestra piece Infirmus!
23.8 at 19 o’clock Under Stjärnhimmelen, premiere of the organ version

But if everything goes according to plan then I will be quite happy with the outcome: composed Sirens (7 min.), a string orchestra piece Infirmus (7 min.), a piano trio, part of a melodrama and a 45 min. part of a chamber opera Schnitzler’s Dreams. All of the previously named pieces (minus the melodrama), Groove, Characters and the organ version of Under Stjärnhimmelen have their premiere this summer and also older pieces like The Dorfman Trio, Sydänlaulu and Expressionen will be played again in concerts! So quite a summer!

Swedish Wind Ensemble and Stockholm

This week (26-30th of May) I have spent in Stockholm rehearsing with Swedish Wind Ensemble, who premiered my piece ”Paradiso” on Friday 29th of May! It has been an absolutely fantastic week!

I stayed the week in the house of my friend, and it was really nice! Here is a pic of me from outside here house.

At my friends place in Stockholm. Photo © Damström

I flew in on Tuesday 26th of May, rehearsals were on Wednesday and Thursday 10-14:50 o’clock, on Friday we had a dress rehearsal 15-17 o’clock and on Friday evening we had the concert at 19 o’clock at Musikaliska on Nybrokajen 11 in Stockholm.

Having lunch with our orchestration teacher Bjön-Tryggve Johansson
and my class mate Alfred Jimenez from Malmö Academy of Music.
Photo © Cecilia Damström

Having lunch day 2 with composers Olle Sundström
from Gothenburg Academy of Music and Alfred Jimenez
from Malmö Academy of music. Photo © Cecilia Damström

Swedish Wind Ensemble is a wind orchestra with both woodwinds and brass instruments as well as three percussionists. All of us students that were elected for this project were asked to write a 4 minute piece using the whole orchestra (and no particular solo instrument). It was very interesting how different all the pieces were in the concert! It was there fore also interesting to listen to the rehearsals of the pieces by the other composers.

My piece “Paradiso” is a palindrome, so from the middle everything comes again back to front (and kind of “up side down”, so that what was played in the beginning by the highest instrument the piccolo, is played at the end by the lowest instrument the tuba). But after the middle (when the pieces gets mirrored) I had at the beginning some problems with the volume balance, so I had to make some small change in dynamics for the woodwinds and generally ask the brass to play quieter. With this small adjustment the piece worked really well!

Swedish Wind Ensemble rehearsing under the lead of Michael Bartosch.
Photo © Cecilia Damström

The programme of the concert on the 29th of May was:

Jacob Mühlrad | Tekiah

Cecilia Damström | Paradiso op.36

Alfred Jimenez | Two Small but Serious Satires (2015)

Olle Sundström | Punk Duet (2015)
Joseph Howard | Movement (2015)
Felix Axemo | Kårchefen Åstrand
Rosanna Gunnarsson | Dogtown part II
Frej Wedlund | andas, upphör
Mika Pohjola | Wedding March
Jakob Svartengren | 150123

There were so many nice pieces, but among my favourites I must mention Mühlrad’s Tekiah, Wedlund’s andas, upphör and Howard’s Movement.

Presenting my piece Paradiso for the audience at Musikaliska,
Stockholm, 29th of May 2015.
Photo by Joseph Howard

Unfortunately there wasn’t very much audience in the concert, about 50 people, which sadly is quite usual at contemporary music concerts. But my former colleague from work (at sea) and his girlfriend came to the concert, which made me very happy!

After the concert we all went to the spring party of the Stockholm Royal Academy of Music. They had a live band called Funk Attack playing funk and soul, and they were absolutely extraordinary! The lead singer Christopher Lennerbrant had a great voice, sang in perfect pitch and had a great stage charisma and the backup singer/second lead singer Maja Keuc , who sung one solo song, sounded like Beyoncé and was also wonderful on stage! It was incredible! And the band played really well together, so it was wonderful to listen to!

The band Funk Attack with Christopher Lennerbrant and Maja Keuc
playing a gig 29th of May 2015 at the Stockholm Royal Academy of Music.
Photo © Cecilia Damström

The band Funck Attack playing a gig 29th of May 2015
at the Stockholm Royal Academy of Music.
Photo © Cecilia Damström

On Saturday 30th of May I had lunch buffet with my new English friend and composer Joseph Howard and then took a afternoon train back to Malmö. The train ride was once again a perfect place to finish of some adjustments to ready pieces before sending them off to some application deadlines.

Stockholm was wonderful, but now I have to re-focus on composition, because only one week of this term left and there's still lot’s of work to get done!

Me on a sunny day in Stockholm after rehearsals with Swedish Wind Ensemble.
Photo © Damström

Tongeneration Concert in Lund

Last week’s Sunday, on the 10th of May, we from Tongeneration, the composers of Malmö Academy of Music, had a concert at Lund’s Museum of Public Art. The concert was part of the Lund Biennale, a two day event of music in Lund, organized by Odeum.

The programme was:

1. Francesco Del Nero - Sc'ri (world premiere)

2. Jonatan Sersam - Medusa (world premiere)

3. David Riebe - Escaliers Mécaniques

4. Cecilia Damström - Piano Delirium Op.9 (Swedish premiere)

5. Jonatan Sersam - Röster (world premiere)

6. Ismael Palacio - Open space

7. Alfred Jimenez - Two excerpt teasers from his opera Clownen Jac (world premiere)

Musicians:

Albert Van Pham - Piano (2)

Niklas Sjölund - Piano (1)

Jonas Helander - Tenor (7)

Elisabeth Ekberg - soprano (7)

Jonatan Sersam - Piano (1, 7)

Cecilia Damström - Piano (4)
Ismael Palacio, Francesco Del Nero and Jonatan Sersam are the "Non-Existing Trio" (Prepared piano and amplified harmonica) (7)

Niklas Sjölund and Jonatan Sersam playing
Francesco del Nero's piece Sc´ri. Photo © Cecilia Damström

Albert Van Pham playing the world premiere of
Jonatan Sersam's piece Medusa.Photo © Cecilia Damström 

Cecilia Damström playing the Swedish premiere
of her own piece Piano Delirium. Photo by Niklas Sjölund

Open space by Ismael Palacio​. Photo © Cecilia Damström

Tongeneration at the Lund Biennale, on Sunday the 10th of May
in the Museum of Public Art and Sketches.
Photo © Cecilia Damström 

A taster from Alfred Jimenez opera "Clownen Jac".
Photo © Cecilia Damström

A taster from Alfred Jimenez opera "Clownen Jac". 
Photo © Cecilia Damström

I had planned that my song cycle would have had its Swedish premiere, but all my singer friends were too busy and my sister had a slight flu and couldn’t either sing, so I decided instead to give my solo piano piece Piano Delirium (from 2010) a Swedish premiere, and played it my self in the concert. I was very happy with how it went; I think I have maybe never played it so well in a concert before!

The concert had two more piano pieces, two pieces for tape, a trio (Open space) and two arias from Alfred Jimenez opera. There were about 30 people at the concert, which is about an average for a contemporary music concert. Everyone was happy with the concert, both we composers and musicians as well as organizers, and even the sun was shining in Lund!

All composers and performers on stage!
Tongeneration at the Lund Biennale, on Sunday the 10th of May
in the Museum of Public Art and Sketches.

Examples of Brass Music

Tuesday 12th of May. Wrote yesterday  about 1 minute of music for my brass ensemble piece "Sirens". Now feeling stuck, so I’m listening to inspirational pieces, mainly brass music. Here is a list of what I’m listening to (recommendations by teachers and friends), hope you enjoy it as well!

Rautavaara: A Requiem in our time

Gunther Schuller: Symphony for Brass and Percussion Op.16

Hindemith: Music for Brass and Strings Op.50 Movements I & II

Hindemith: Music for Brass and Strings Op.50 Movements III & IV

Stravinsky: Ebony Concert

Stravinsky: Symphony for Wind Instruments

Takemitsu: Garden Rain

''

Moritz Eggert: Morphing

Moritz Eggert: in the box



Anders Hillborg: Brass Quintet

Lutoslawski: Mini Overture

Louis Andiressen: Hoketus

Louis Andriessen: Workers Union

Berio: Call

Varèse: Intégrales

Varèse: Ionisation

Back to Blogging!

Hello again dear blog readers! It’s been a long break, but now I’m back, and better late than never! The main reason is for that I haven’t had time to write this blog is because I have tried to start sleeping again normal hours, which I didn’t do a year ago, when I was writing most actively. But I have actually got quite some few texts ”in store”, so over the next weeks there might come both text from last summer as well as what’s going on now! Be prepared!

I moved to Malmö last August and am currently studying my masters in composition at Malmö Academy of Music with Luca Francesconi and Staffan Storm as my compositions teachers and Kent Olofsson in electroacoustic composition. I share a flat with two Finnish girls and I really enjoy my life in Malmö! Many people have asked me what it’s like living in Sweden and if there are big differences between Finland and Sweden, so there will for sure be blog posts coming up about life in Sweden versus Finland.

Spring is crazy busy as always; I have finished a four minute piece for windband, that will be premiered on the 29th of May in Stockholm, a piece for piano solo that will be premiered on the 20th of May in Malmö (and on the 25th of May in Helsinki) and currently I’m writing a piece for flute and electronics that will be premiered on the 17th of May in Malmö. Still coming up (this spring) is a piece for flute and accordion for the Sysmä Suvisoitto-festival, a 10 min piece for brass ensemble for Blekinge International Brass Academy, a cello-sonata and half a chamber opera that will be premiered in Norway in the end of August this year! So please wish me luck in keeping all these deadlines!

But this week it’s Easter and I’m flying home to Finland for a week, partly because I’m actually currently also enrolled in Tampere University of Applied Sciences and am studying piano with Risto-Matti Marin, so I will have a two piano lessons, and partly because my string quartet “Via Crucis” will be premiered on Good Friday by the Felis-quartet in Siuntio church at 6 PM! Every one is warmly welcome to the premiere!

Recapitulation of Spring 2014

Spring 2014 has been absolutely the most crazy and amazing spring so far in my composer career. Well, already if you consider that I have written 104 blog posts about what happened from the end of February until the beginning of June (so approximately during three month time), I guess that gives you some kind of picture HOW much has been going on… But in case you don’t have time to read all 104 blog posts, I will summarize last spring in one post, partly for my own sake.

So in January I broke up after four years in a relationship, which contributed to my decision to apply for masters in Sweden. I also participated in Vocal Espoo’s choral composition competition.

In February I got to know that both I and also our composer association Tampering had been given grants by the Finnish cultural trust foundation, which was great news!

In February my piece “Expressionen” was performed in Helsinki to a enthusiastic audience.

In March I travelled Tampere-Helsinki-Stockholm-Malmö-Copenhagen-Gothenburg-Stockholm-Helsinki-Tampere for entrance exams at three universities in Sweden (and one day sightseeing in Copenhagen), and got full points in the entrance exam at Malmö.

On the 14th of March I also made my Canadian début with my piece Loco for solo viola, which according to my friend, Canadian composer Paolo Griffin, wasreceived with standing ovations.

In the middle of March I also started writing this blog, A Composers Diary!

In the end of March I both produced and played my own piece Piano Delirium in the “Korvat Auki Tampere” concert in Pietiläsali, in the main library Metso in Tampere.

In April the music theatre production Buss Number 13 including 5 of my pieces, had three performances (and one pre-premiere) at the Tampere Hall, and the last performance was part of the contemporary music festival Tampere Biennale 2014. More over my pieces got a great review in the local newspaper Aamulehti.

In April I also participated in a conducting course, in which I conducted the orchestrated version of my own song cycle Dagbok, and the piece was premiered at the final concert of the course.

In the rest of April I worked as a producer for my own concert. I put together an orchestra, handed out 800 flyers in front of the Tampere Hall, contacted the radio station and two newspapers (which all three made interviews with me about the up coming concert, which was great for getting audience!) and led many of the rehearsals.

Suomen Työväen Musiikkiliitto offered me a publishing contract for my choral piece Kielikurssi for children's’ choir this spring and it will come out next winter!

On the 14th of May I had myfirst composers recital, with over 200 people in the audience and a good review in the daily newspaper Aamulehti. It included premieres of my choral works Visheten and Min Gud.

Moreover in May my piano solo piece Psychedelic was premiered at the composers concert in Tampere and my solo viola piece Loco was performed at the RRR!! Festival in Helsinki.


In addition to all above named I also have written my thesis and defended it, AND written a 10 minute piece for symphony orchestra (while sleeping 2 night on the floor of my school) and have passed my final exams for becoming a composer.

Finally my choral works El jardín de las morenas and Credo have been premiered at the VocalEspoo choral festival, have been awarded third and joint second prize and have been broadcast by the National Finnish Radio Company Yle.

I think I can call it a day. Or a spring, that is to say.

Living 36 hours in the Composition Studio!

Tuesday the 27th of May. All I can say is: I MADE IT! I managed to finish and hand in my 10 min orchestra piece Unborn!!! And I feel like every juice of energy that I ever had in me has been squeezed tightly tightly out, ever so thoroughly…

Title page of my piece Unborn for symphony orchestra.

So what happened after the 14h party? On Sunday 25th of May, after sleeping for 6 hours I got up again at 16 o’clock, ate lunch, went to evening mass then went home, picked up a blanket, food and everything I needed for composing and headed of to the composition studio. I arrived at about 20.30 o’clock and started composing. I had been invited to a party, I had even brought a dress in case I could make it there as well, but now the earnesty of the situation was catching in on me: I HAVE to get everything done within this month so that I can graduate next month, and I HAVE to graduate next month in case I want to begin with my masters at the Academy of Music in Malmö in September 2014! There will come several parties, but to graduate I have to do NOW! So I didn’t go anywhere else except for eating and toiled in the next 36 hours!

I composed the first night until from 20:30 until 5 AM, then spread out my blanket on the floor and slept for 2 hours. At 7 AM I had my alarm ringing again and composed until lunch. I had quite a long (2h) lunch break, then I continued composing all afternoon and night until 4 AM. The second night I slept 3 hours, again on the blanket on the floor. At 7 AM again my alarm rang, and I was still quite worried, I had only got 8:30 minutes so I had to write an other 3-4 minutes before the deadline at 14 o’clock. So I wrote and wrote, and decided to cut out some of the ostinato in the strings, and make a 10 minute piece in stead of a 12 minute piece. At 11 AM I finally was ready! I knew there were typos and mistakes and missing slurs, but at this point I have to say I didn’t care anymore. (There wasn’t any orchestra hungrily waiting for my piece anyway…)

So for comparison; here is a pic of the original drawings of my piece, dated 21.5.
© Cecilia Damström

And here is a pic of the score of the same part of the piece.
(See the glissandos and French horn cluster?)
© Cecilia Damström

So after 36 hours in the composition studio I was finally free to leave. It was very ironical, it was like if the time of the year had changed while I was those 36 hours in the studio. I had arrived in a summer dress and sandals, it had been +26°C, and now it was suddenly +10°C and hailing! I walked home on shaky legs (both of tiredness and cold, wearing sandals while it’s hailing isn’t my sport…), showered and changed to some warmer clothes, headed to the main building for printing the score and having lunch, and then headed off for the final hour of doom, my composition class with Hannu Pohjannoro.

I can’t describe how proud and happy I was, despite the exhaustion, when I lay down the score of Unborn infront of Pohjannoro. He looked at the schore, listened to the midi of the Sibelius file and looked at the score again. I could see relief in his face, which made me very happy. After a long silence he finally said: “The piece works. There are still a few small things that should be corrected, but the piece in it’s entirety works. Congratulations on that. For being honest; I was very worried and wondered how on earth you would manage to get the piece ready on time, I didn’t think it was possible. But your choice to start over again (with the dialogue) was good, the new material you have worked much better than your previous material. Sometimes you just have to have the courage and throw everything away, even at a late stage, so it was good that you did that. Oh well, I guess this was it, this was our last lesson.”

This news struck me with surprise, I hadn’t even thought this far! But yes, it’s the end of May, of course this was my last lesson! But I told him I will be back, for private lessons, so this is not our last lesson. I will be back, as they say...